i'm all carbon

insides a wall painted with blood cells and cholesterol

insides a liver - i think

i'm not all that sure, actually

the inside is a place i've never been, even when the outside is so familiar to me

insides a room with a brain, and it's so cramped

inside drives me crazy

crazier than outside

and that's something to say

what with magazines and photoshop and body image

but back to the inside crazy

where i run for two seconds and the inside wants to throw my lungs outside

where i stand up too quickly and the lights turn off in that room with the brain

where there's pain one day and the next it's gone

why can't the inside just relax?

insides a network, or that's what my biology teacher told me

insides a frame that holds me up

you can call it my bones

or you can call it my crutch

it answers to anything

that liver, i'm pretty sure it's there

but there's still that doubt because it doesn't pound against my chest like my heart

it hasn't inflamed like my appendix - what used to be my appendix

but i function right, so it's there

right?

insides a whole lot of uncertainty and this yearn for Paris

combined with this confidence and homeostasis

insides a heart

it's beating and i'm breathing

for now

but the trickiest thing of it all

is that insides a heart

and it's beating and i'm breathing

and it's all happening right now

and i can feel it

i can feel it under my fingertips

but i still don't know who i am